The first commandment that a young Muslim boy or a girl in the South Asian communities gets is to do everything possible to get settled and marry. They are taught to whip themselves off to get a good career. The youth in their innocence wish to comply. But the naïve teachings of the elders help them fail. And this, to say the least is terrible.
Muslims of the Indo-Pak belt are taught that success is only found if you can become one of the three:
- Doctor / Dentist
- Job with a Fat Paycheck
Success isn’t found in anything other than this! And if a boy is able to succeed in this test, he will get a ‘good’ wife, at least, that’s what he is told. It is based on the presumption that, money begets serenity.
If the purpose of a youth is anything but the above three mentions, he is on the path to destruction. Perhaps silly, can be mad or a just plain lazy. Such a guy will is soon be the center through whom all diagonals will be drawn. He will be the point of gossip for his relatives, his neighbors and every poking nose in between.
Desi mythology will tell him that he cannot get a ‘good’ wife who behaves with him with respect, and will not get any respect from the society around.
For girls, the situation is not a lot better. It is almost the same if not worse. They are asked to finish a degree, and then she will somehow be married to a rich loving prince charming who has to be a doctor, an engineer or just plain rich. That for the girl is a plain recipe for eternal bliss.
If the parents are a bit more concerned, read greedy, they will ask her to go into the same professions that the guy would. Marriage can wait, but success won’t.
The Child Starts with Obedience
In the early days of their youth, obedient boys and girls believe in all this. And try their best to listen to their elders, who mostly are their parents. But this bubble gets to burst as soon as these young boys and girls enter a college or in many cases, just a co-ed high school.
They see people around in all sorts of lewd relationships, casual flirting being the norm. All this disempowers the faith of these noble men and women, to the extent that they eventually themselves fall prey to this wild lifestyle. A lifestyle that will be the cause of Allah’s wrath and anger for them on the day of Judgement.
What Happens Next?
The young girl is no longer interested to marry early, just after being itchy to tie the knot. She is just 22, and wishes to explore. Life is not about getting married and being a ‘nice’ wife. At the same time, a guy would want to defer his marriage and not be really interested in taking the burden of a family. His freedom to enjoy life matters to him more now.
All this starts with the peer pressure around the youth, but it soon becomes their second nature. Desensitization to sin while gradual can be lethal. Both the genders in their quest to ‘live’ their life to the fullest fall into many haram things. From haram relationships to outright zina. The situation can be rather obnoxious.
Parents are Deceived
Finding good jobs that make boys eligible to marry is demanding. It drains out the young man, or even a woman if she has career goals. Temptations break the morale of these young guns as they try to concentrate on getting ‘settled’. Inevitably to satisfy their lusts, they fall into things that are haram.
Now, parents are lied to and at the same time mislead. But in my opinion, its the parents that actually don’t want to know the truth. Not knowing that their children are falling prey to haram is much easier for them, than to actually know that their son is on drugs and daughter with 4 aborted fetuses’.
All that these parents want is ‘success’ for their children, a thing predetermined. And they are willing to go to any extent to obtain that magical paper. You may ask how?
It is simple logic. A person will not be able to be an MBBS unless he is at least 25 years in age. Now, in the hyper-sexual society that we live in, how easy is it to remain chaste to this age? Not very. In-fact, much more difficult that we think.
A man cannot be really settled unless at least he is 30. And he obviously will not wait and be chaste till then. With no emphasis on the fear of Allah in his early youth, and religion playing a very cultural role in his life, he is ready to break all shackles. Now this in no shape or fashion means that every person is unchaste.
A lot of people do have a very high willpower. But generally those, who can’t shut their eyes to music, porn, or friendships with the opposite sex, chastity is just too much to ask. The irony is that, many such young people choose to date non-Muslim partners so that they keep their image clean within their own circles.
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams
The reality of the Indian Subcontinent is that, we face over populated environment. Doctors do not get jobs of doctors, but they are used as sales agents by big corporate hospitals. Similar is the case with other professions. Finally, these people realize that life was tougher than taught. It was a whirlpool that doesn’t stop.
Eventually you decide to marry and get ‘settled.’ But many a times, the marriage is not a social contract but a monetary one. You will marry spouse who earns as much you desire. Actually, you are marrying money and not a person. And then, for obvious reasons, things don’t work.
What Happens Next?
You either live your life as a cabbage, you decide to chuck off the marriage. And both these situations lead to unacceptable misery. This leads to a cycle of failures, the young man has lost the ‘successful’ guy, he had dreamt of being. He did not get the wife he was looking forward to. And neither has he prepared well for his afterlife.